Orgasm during sex is the only benchmark of truly good sex. All people experience orgasms in different ways and they can feel different at different times.
They boost our sexual satisfaction and have even been known to offer health benefits.
Orgasms boost vaginal health, lower the risk of heart disease, regulate sleep, help you lose weight, and offer pain relief. So if you find it difficult to orgasm, you might be missing out on both truly satisfying sex and some amazing health benefits.
A study published in the Journal of Marital Sex & Therapy explored reasons why some women might not experience orgasms during sex.
Out of the 452 women surveyed who had orgasm problems, they listed the most common reasons they think it is difficult for them to orgasm.
The researchers screened 913 women over 18 years old. Of this number, 452 revealed severe difficulty to orgasm. 45% of these women had difficulty orgasming during half of their encounters. 30% found it difficult to orgasm almost every single time they have sex.
Then, researchers took various factors — age, background, lifestyle, relationship status, health history, orgasm— and assessed the “level of distress” associated with orgasm difficulties.
Here are the 11 reasons why some women might not experience orgasms:
- Sex with my partner does not interest me.
- Sex with me does not seem to interest my partner.
- I don’t find sex with my partner enjoyable.
- My partner doesn’t seem to find sex with me enjoyable.
- I’m neither sufficiently aroused nor stimulated during sex.
- I’m not sufficiently lubricated during intercourse.
- I find sex painful.
- We have to rush through sex, not having enough time.
- I am self-conscious about my body and physical appearance.
- Medication and a condition is keeping me from reaching orgasm.
- I feel that it is difficult to orgasm because of my stress and anxiety.
58% of the women cited stress and anxiety as the main reason why they can’t orgasm.
Here are the other major reasons:
- 48% said that a lack of arousal or stimulation was their suspected cause.
- 40% also said they felt not having enough time is a hindrance to orgasm.
- 28% reported poor body image.
- 25% said pain or irritation during sex was the main problem.
- 24% said insufficient lubrication was to blame.
- Only 17% said medical conditions were at fault.
Psychiatrist Grant Brenner writes that the respondents can experience more than one of the reasons. For instance, women can experience stress and anxiety because of poor arousal. Or inadequate lubrication can lead to pain and irritation.
Brenner recommends the following areas for improvement:
- Improving sexual techniques
- Strengthening communication strategies
- Offering encouragement and support is key, especially for those struggling with poor body image
- Elevating relationship quality, through paying attention to the spouse
- Of course, if a medical condition is to blame, then couples need to seek professional help. It’s always best to be open with a trusted doctor.
Though orgasms are not the only thing worth looking forward to during sex, the lack of it is often reflective of an issue that needs to be addressed so you can move forward to a satisfying sex life and marriage.